Things We Have Learned
From Movies

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within
    the price range of most people whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
    You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
    communications system of any invading alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
    martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
    by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked
    out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
    will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert
    on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down
    three days before their retirement.

9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
    archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley
    systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will
    allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip
      club at least once.

11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the
      armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying
      beside her.

12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
      bread.

13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
      the control tower to talk you down.

14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.

15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
      the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back
      home.

16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer,
      it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian
      accent will do. (It used to be an English accent for the German.)

17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
      will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it
      before long.

20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
      noises in their most revealing underwear.

21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
      say:  Enter Password Now.

22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to
      turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
      Tires will squeal on any surface, at any speed.

23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
      readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
      from duty.

25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will
      know all the steps.

26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
      they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to
      each other in English.

28. The P.I. will always find a parking space directly in front of the
      building he is headed for; he will never lock the car door.

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